It's not funny...

Went prom dress shopping today.
I had this crazy mood in the store. I would like to blame it on the unhelpful salespeople (and I did at the time), but I know it isn't them.

As we drove home I played loud music and hoped we would crash into a ditch and die. Thank God(s) I wasn't driving.
I tried 2 make myself happy, but I kept wishing to die regardless. That, and having crazy thoughts about things...
I talked 2 myself - said it would be okay, told my brain to shut up and start working right. I ripped up paper 2 keep my hands busy so I wouldn't pull out my hair like I do during times like those...

Then I started laughing. There was nothing funny.

I kept laughing and everything got more and more hysterical.

Then I got home, binge ate, and felt great.

I'm okay now, I think. This was a bad one... I am glad I was not alone for this. I mean, I did crazy things in front of my friends & future husband, but I could have done a lot worse.

Thank (diety of choice) for not being alone and for my future husband...