Thursday, March 18, 2010

That's kinda how it is...

One of the tragedies of my life is that I will kill myself eventually.

I do not want to kill myself, but one night when I am alone with a knife and a mixed episode I will.

The odds were never good - child of divorce, low income family, bipolar disorder... Plus I guess I count as lgbt and the odds go up a little there too... Plus my aunt planned her suicide a while back and I am behaving more and more like my skitzophrenic uncle every day.
Suicide seems inevitable with the circumstances and I always back out of asking for help. Help wouldn't be that helpful anyway.

Tragedy is acceptable in Drama. My life might be dramatic enough to play it off.
It is not a good thing for a seventeen year old to have accepted her end is near. But there is little else to be done now but to live and to hope not to die.

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